I don't like admitting it. But lately, I have had a hard time keeping faith. Not just faith in God, but faith in general. I realize it is because Brandon and I really have not discovered what our faith is. I am not sure what I believe in anymore and it is causing a small identity crisis. I want to be one of those people who can blindly believe. I really do. But I can't. My mind keeps getting in the way. So prompted by a conversation with Brandon and my mom this weekend. I have decided to begin on a spiritual journey to discovering just what I do believe in.
I have discovered so far, that I no longer believe that a higher power has anything to do with conception. I believe in biology for that. I can't imagine God "choosing" who is worthy and who is not. I just can't fathom why some of the greatest people who would be amazing parents are left to deal with infertility and heartache, while teenage drug addicts can conceive with the greatest of ease. So that is what I have learned so far. I do believe that there is a higher power out there. But I know that I am more Earth-focused than that.
I am currently researching the Unitarian Universalist church. It seems so lovely so far. It is accepting of ALL faiths and beliefs. They accept all people no matter their race, sex, age, or sexual orientation. That sounds like a place where I could fit in. More specifically, I am researching paganism as a branch under the UU tree. UU churchs have people attending who are Buddhists, Jewish, Christian, Baptist, Pagan, and even atheists. They focus on seven principles:
1. The inherent worth and dignity of every person.
2. Justice, equity and compassion in human relations.
3. Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.
4. A free and responsible search for truth and meaning.
5. The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large.
6. The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all.
7. Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
Number 4 really hits home for me. This faith allows you the opportunity to learn and discover what you believe in. Seeking out your own truth. I love that. I also love the Earth focus. It just speaks to me.
We are attending our first service this weekend. I am looking forward to it.