Sunday, August 31, 2008

Mommying is my career...

Being a stay-at-home mother (SAHM) has its ups and downs. Like anything in this world, there are positives and negatives. Thankfully, in my experience there are more good times than bad. But, it really doesn't dawn on me just how little people think that I do, until I see someone I know around town.

The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: Hey! It is great to see you! Been a long time. How are you?
Well meaning-long-lost friend: Great! How are you? What are you up to now?
Me: I am a mom! This is my great son, Nathan. I stay at home with him.
Well-meaning-long-lost friend: Really??!! (Insert shocked expression here). Oh...ok. What else are you doing?
Me: Well I am also a nurse, but now I am a mama. It is the greatest job in the world. I just love staying at home with my sweet boy.
Well-meaning-long-lost friend: Oh, you are a nurse?! That's so cool. What kind of nurse?
Me: Well, like I said I am a stay-at-home mom now. So...
Well-meaning-long-lost friend: Oh, well when are you going back to work?

I know they are seemingly innocent questions. I understand that sometimes people are just so curious. And I get that. But, if someone looks at me with that look of shock and asks when I plan to go back to work one more time, I will go crazy. Sometimes it hits me, people really have no idea that what I do, is work! I do more in one day now, than I ever did before I was a mom.

So for the record, I am a mom. Mommying is my career now. I am very happy with my choice. It is the right thing for me and Nathan. I do not plan to return to the workplace anytime soon. This is really what I was meant to do.

Note: None of my faithful blog readers actually do this. :) This is simply my way of venting my frustrations so that when well-meaning-long-lost friend #4578390 comes along, I won't bite their head off.

P.S. Goodbye August...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Family fun time!

Nathan at Mitch's game. He had fun running up and down the rows.
My Uncle Tommy and my brother Ben
My brother Thomas and Nathan
Mitch and the Greensburg Pirates got to play at Lucas Oil Stadium (The Colts) in their first game of the season! Mitch was the quaterback! He did so good and it was amazing to see him up on the big screen and on TV!
My nephew Will

Nathan and Grandma (my Mama)
Awww...Nathan loves grandma!
Has so much fun with her!
Not letting go!!

The team
My Uncle Tommy and Uncle Dan watching the game. We all got shirts that said "Tuttle" on the back. It was cool! I wish we would have thought to take a big group picture!
My mama

My Uncle Tommy and Nathan at my brother's game
Nathan watching his Uncle Tommy!
Thomas and Nathan

Couldn't decide which sport to play!
So cute!
He choose well! We are a football family! Just like his uncles!
Uncle Tommy and Nathan playing ball.
Uncle Tommy and Nathan

We had such a nice family weekend! It was so nice to see my Uncles! They came from California and Georgia. It was really fun!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Happy Conception Day!

2 years ago today, Brandon and I were in the IVF OR and Nathan's life began in a petri dish. Here is my darling son with our embryo that didn't make it. IVF is a miracle. Still brings tears to my eyes to see this picture. It was actually taken on the 24th of August. Right before Nathan was placed back into my womb. So amazing...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Happy 3rd Anniversary!!

Three years ago today, I married my sweetheart! Happy Anniversary Brandon! I love you so much!

Sunday, August 17, 2008


We have moved on to cycle #7. I am pretty sad about it. I really just want this to be easy and it just plain isn't. I hate the fact that we have to go through this to have a family. It just isn't fair sometimes.

Anyway, we will be trying this month and the month of September using my fertility monitor. In September, we will be meeting with Dr. B to dicuss our IUI cycle. Hopefully we can do that in October.

I really hope that cycle #7 is lucky for us.

Pity party over...

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Letter to my 15 month old boy...

Dear Nathan,

Today you are 15 months old! Time is just racing by. Before we know it, fall will be here! I can't believe that you are already 15 months old. You are getting to be so big!

This past month has been so exciting for us all. The biggest thing has been our move. Mama and Daddy bought a house! And we moved from the house where we brought you home. :( It was such a bittersweet day. On one hand, we knew that we were moving toward a bright future. We were going to a place where you could grow up and run and play. But it was hard to say goodbye to the house where you spent the first year of your life. Your Daddy painted that nursery a week before you were born. We brought you home from the hospital and fell in love with our sweet baby boy in that house. We paced the floor with a fussy newborn. You and I cuddled and nursed for hours on end in our comfy bed. You learned to crawl and took your first steps in that house. So it was hard for us to leave. But we know that our future is in this house. You have made the transition so well. And I really think that you like it here. This past month you have learned some new things! You love to climb on things now! You are always climbing on furniture and in the shower. You are especially fond of our new fireplace. You like to scare Mama by climbing on the bricks. You have learned how to give people things. You are all the time bringing Mama things and you get so excited when I say "Thank you!". You try to bring everyone something. It is really cute. This past month we also went on your first plane ride! We went to Baltimore, Maryland to Zach and Sara's Wedding. We had a great time and you were such a good boy! We also went to visit Grandma Kay and Grandpa John and went to Holiday World with Grandma and Uncles Ben and Tommy! It was so much fun! You did great and really loved it! You love water. You like to pour it and splash around. It is so much fun to watch you enjoy yourself. You just laugh and laugh.

15 months has gone by in the blink of an eye. You are such a toddler now. It is amazing to watch you learn and grow every day. We love you Nathan Cole. You are our world. And we look forward to watching you grow up in our home. We are so proud of you.



Sunday, August 10, 2008

Vacation! Our trip to Holiday World!

Mama and Nathan on the Ohio River
He is so cute!

Just hanging out.
So pretty!

Mama and Nathan on the merry-go-round
The grandmas!

He had so much fun running around the play area at Holiday World
Nathan and Grandma

Hmm...what's up here?
This looks fun.

It IS fun!

He loves pouring water. The grandmas are in the background.

My mom, my brothers, Nathan and I went down to Tell City to visit Brandon's parents. We went to Holiday World. We had a great time!!! My favorite part was swimming in the neighbor's pool. So relaxing. It was such a blast!

Friday, August 8, 2008


It's my birthday today!!! YAY! :)

Brandon and I are going on a date tonight! I'm excited!

Friday, August 1, 2008

It is time.

To share this.

Before we had Nathan, I didn't research circumcision at all. DH is circ'd and we just agreed to do it. At the time, I thought it was "just what you did". After the birth, I was having second thoughts. I just had this feeling at the pit of my belly telling me "don't do it." My mama instincts were trying to tell me something and I didn't listen. So they did it and I felt awful. Crying hyserically about it day after day. DH thought it was just having some baby blues. Then I found Mothering. Started reading about it and what happened to him. I found the circ video and threw up. DH and I talked about it and I told him I was never doing that to another child. He said "ok" and we left it at that. DH started doing his own research and we found the site about how circing hurts women (mostly related to sexual issues). And DH came to me crying. Saying how could we have done this...etc. After much research, DH decided to restore his foreskin. He has been doing that for around 6 months now. It is a long road but he is gaining a lot. We plan to tell DS how sorry we are. How we shouldn't have made that choice for him. How daddy is different because he has been restored. We will teach him about restoration and he can make the choice for himself.

Why do I feel so strongly about it? Because I put my son through that torture FOR NO REASON. And why did I share this with all of you? Because if I can save one baby boy from feeling that pain and save one mother from feeling the intense sadness that I feel, then it will be worth it. I can't sleep at night, I am depressed during the day. Because of THIS.

Deep in your mama heart, you know that something isn't right about strapping a newborn baby to a table and cutting off part of his genitals. Would you send your daughter to be circ'd? Would you remove her clitoral hood (also known as female genital mutilation) FOR NO REASON?

Now, we have pro-circ people on this world. I, obviously can't change any minds and can't change the state of their son's penis anymore than I can change Nathan's. Do I think that they are bad mothers? No. I think that they choose circing, thinking that is the best thing for their son because SOCIETY has told us that it is the right thing to do. I blame society, not mothers.

Now why is circing so wrong?

Genital integrity is a basic human right.

Over 80% of the world is intact.

This is an excellent movie (done by doctors opposing circumcision) about foreskin’s purpose and harm of circumcision.http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...o/prepuce.html

Even a perfectly performed circumcision does life-long harm.

1. It removes the most sensitive parts of the penis (Ridged band and often it also removes Frenulum).

2. The glans (penile head) is normally an internal organ protected by the moist mucosal tissue of the prepuce (foreskin). Without the foreskin, the glans is exposed to the outer environment (air, soap, clothing, sun, etc.). The glans dries out and develops several extra layers of skin (keratinization). Besides removing the densely nerve-laden foreskin, circumcision removes 50% of the penile shaft skin and associated nerve endings. The exposed glans then keratinizes, causing further loss of sensation. Imagine how different female sexual response would be if the clitoral hood (female foreskin) was removed. Exposure of the clitoris to the constant effects of the outer environment would approximate the effects of male circumcision.

3. The pain during circumcision is truly agonizing. Do you know how they circumcise newborns? First, because the foreskin is attached to the glans exactly like the fingernail is attached to the finger, they have to rip open those adhesions. They force a blunt probe under the foreskin and run it all around. Think about how that would feel under your fingernails and add on it that foreskin is the most sensitive part of the body. Then they slice open the foreskin and peel it away from the glans. Then they put a clamp on and crush the foreskin to halt the worst of the bleeding. Then they take a scalpel and slice the foreskin off. Oh, and by the way, did you know that over 85% of neonatal circumcisions in the US are still being preformed without any/adequate anesthesia? If one wants to put their baby through this nightmare, they at least must have guts to see how the procedure is being done. As you can see on this video, the doctor claims that he uses anesthesia…

4. The baby will feel that pain for weeks after the circumcision. Every time they pee it will burn. Every time you put them on their tummy or lay them against your chest to nurse, it will sting.

5. Because it's not your body, or your husband's body. It's your son's penis.You wouldn't drink or do drugs during your pregnancy because of the risks of causing birth defects.Did you know that being born without a foreskin is considered a birth defect?Why would you spend nine months eating healthy, avoiding drugs known to be harmful, etc. only to voluntarily offer up your child to elective cosmetic surgery so that his penis will now be like that of a baby born with a birth defect?

6. Because death can and HAS occured. The latest case was in Canada in May.

7. Circumcision puts the patient at risk of surgical mishap, adhesions, meatitis, meatal ulceration, infections, bleeding, and even death. The recent fast spread of MRSA in the US. is an example. Circumcision exposes the infant to risk of exposure to MRSA and other antibiotic resistent bacteria. While MRSA and other Antibiotic resistent bacteria can be spread by skin contact, they become ever more dangerous if they enter through a cut or open wound. Some recently circumcised boys have died from MRSA when their bodies did not respond to anti-biotic treatment. Others required treatment with the most recent experimental antibiotics. One boy who recently recovered now has an enlarged heart; that will cause lifetime consequences for him. The most recent statistics indicate that in 2007, more persons have died from MRSA in the US than from AIDS.

8. Circumcision started in the Puritan 1870s as a cure for masturbation (yes, you read it right! masturbation was considered to be evil and sinful and was blamed for all sort of illnesses including blindness, paralysis and mental retardation) , ,

You will find pro-circ mamas everywhere. As I said, SOCIETY has taught us that this is what you do. They neglect to mention the risks of circ. Which is why I subjected my son to this heartache. Because I THOUGHT I was doing the best for him. I am no better than any pro-circing mom and I know that. The difference is, now I have learned what I have done. I can end the cycle in my family.

You all know that I love each and every one of you. Sometimes in life, we disagree, and that is ok. I know this was long. And you are probably highly offended. In fact, all the circing moms are probably highly offended. Please know that I don't want to hurt anyone. I am sharing because I want you all to know how I feel. I want you to know that this keeps me up at night. I am crying right now as I type this, thinking of what I have done. My hands are shaking.

---A special thanks to Yulia R. and all the ladies at Mothering for providing a lot of this information for me. I hope that you don't mind that I used some of your info.