Tuesday, May 26, 2009

7 weeks

I'm 7 weeks today! Sorry for the late belly picture!! I wanted to take one of my face this time and I haven't been looking so hot lately. Nathan wanted to get in on the belly picture too. :)

How I am feeling: The word nauseated doesn't even cover it. I am just plain sick all the time. It was like this with Nathan too. The bad thing about this is that I feel worse in the morning and early afternoon, which is when I am "on duty" with Nathan. I start to feel better right around the time that Brandon gets home. It is very difficult to get out of bed in the morning because I am just so sick and exhausted. Other than that, I am just trying to take things one day at a time hoping to get through this first trimester. In more exciting news, I am really looking forward the appointment with my midwives of Thursday! I can't wait to talk to them about the babies and how the birth will go. I also want to get their advice on what I can do to keep the babies in for as long as possible.

What the babies are up to: They are now 1/3 of an inch long! The umbilical cord is now completely visible! The cavities in the babies' brains are formed. The arm buds look like tiny paddles now with an enlarged hand portion. Tiny nostrils and ear indentions can be seen.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Ultrasound results

Well, my gut feeling was right on! We saw two tiny hearts beating...We are having twins!! The ultrasound tech put the paddle on my belly and I saw them both immediately! She said "Two!" They are doing very well. Both in a great spot in my uterus! Grow babies grow!
Baby A measured 6 weeks 6 days and had a heartrate of 129 bpm

Baby B measured 6 weeks 5 days and had a heartrate of 134 bpm

So, both of them are measuring ahead as I am 6 weeks 3 days today! So we have two healthy babies in there!

Brandon and I are thrilled! Nervous about how everything is going to work out, but thrilled all the same! What a tremendous blessing!

Ultrasound today

Wow, the day is finally here! It seems like these weeks have just crawled by. I am very excited, although more nervous than anything. I just hope that we see something today. I had yet another nightmare about it last night, and they couldn't find anything. :(

Our appointment is until 5:15. With infertility stuff, Brandon has taken a lot of time off work, so we are really needing to save his PTO. It is going to be a really long day. I think I am going to spend the day at my mom's house, so that I don't have to sit here by myself.

After the appointment (if it is good news) Brandon and I will probably be going out to dinner, but I will update after that!

Cross your fingers for us!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

6 weeks

I'm 6 weeks today!!

How I'm feeling: Doing ok so far. I am still just exhausted all the time. It takes so much energy just to get out of bed. I am still really moody and snapping a lot. My newest symptom this week is nausea. I am feeling pretty sick in the afternoons and really have to force myself to eat. It was like this with Nathan too and I lost 16 pounds because of it. I'm hoping to get by this time without feeling that sick. In other news, the bloating is taking on a whole new level! I always heard that you "show" earlier in each subsequent pregnancy, but this is crazy! In the beginning of the day, I still have a flat (ish) stomach. But by the end of the day, I have a definite belly! We joke that it is the twins, and I am really starting to wonder. My ultrasound is Friday! I can't wait. Hopefully my nightmares will go away. Every night, I dream about it, and the tech is telling me that there is no heartbeat. I wake up in a cold sweat afterwards.

What the baby is up to: The baby and yolk sac are about the size of an M&M (10,000 times larger than the fertilized egg)! Two tiny cups of pigment are at the sides of the embryo that will become the eyes. Tiny buds that will form the lungs appear. The neural tube is now closed and one end is expanding to become the brain.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Nathan's Birthday Party!

So cute!
He is actually getting the hang of swinging the bat. Granted it is at Mama, but...


My brother, Ben


Playing with his Cousin Will

Daddy working the grill

Grandma and her grandbabies

Not sure what to think

Yeah, I made the cake. Yes, I know that I have no talent in that area! As long as it isn't on cake wrecks, I should be ok.

Nathan and his Spongebob hat.

Unwrapping presents

On the power wheel that Grandma got him

Grandma giving him said powerwheel, somehow the pictures got out of order.

Brandon and I trying to put his tricycle together. Took us an hour and lots of cursing!!

Nathan and Will

Happy Birthday!! :)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

5 weeks

I am 5 weeks today!! Wow, I am really bloated today! This picture was taken at the end of the day. It seems like the later in the day, the bigger the bloat...

How I am feeling: I feel pretty good still. The exhaustion has taken itself to a whole new level. Remember all my posts about insomnia and how I was having to take Melatonin every night to fall asleep? Yeah, I don't need that anymore. I am out like a light the second I lie down. So tired! Emotionally, I am kinda hanging by a thread. Week 5 is hard on me because I lost Noel at 5 weeks 4 days. This week is a big hurdle for me and I will feel much better when it is over. And like I said in the twins scare post update (in bold), I am feeling a little better about the possibility of twins. Thankfully I have a great husband and awesome midwives! So I know that if there are 2, I am in good hands. So right now, I am just trying to hold out until my ultrasound (a week from this Friday). In other symptom news, I am crying pretty much all the time. Very emotional. Very quick to anger. Not so much fun to feel like that.

What the baby is up to: At 1/17 of an inch long, our little embryo is starting to grow! The heart begins beating this week! YAY! The baby is starting to curve in a "c" shape and the beginnings cells of the liver are forming.

Letter to my 2 year old boy...

Dear Nathan,

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!! Today is your second birthday and I am so excited to spend this day with you! It is hard to believe that 2 years ago today I was holding you for the first time and now you are my best buddy!

At 2 years old, you are 36 inches tall and 30 pounds! Getting so big! This has been a big month for us! We found out that you are going to be a big brother! Mama and Daddy are so happy and so excited to add to our family. We are thrilled that you will have a playmate! Mama really loves her siblings, so I hope that you will too. In other news, you are slowly getting the hang of speech therapy! You are doing so well with that. So far you can say: more, fish, foot, water, Lucy, and car. You are starting to say "outside" when you want to go out and play (which is all the time!). We have therapy every week with Julie and you learn something new all the time. I am so happy that we did this for you! Hopefully you will continue to surprise us! Apart from speech, you are just growing and changing everyday. You love spending time with Grandma. You recognize her car now and get all excited when we see it. You love your Cousin Will too! You guys have been playing very well together! On Mother's Day we went to Grandma's house and you and Will played in the power wheel! You actually drove it all around the yard with Will as your passenger. I am so happy that you have someone close to you to grow up with! Although you and Lucy are still best friends. You spend a lot of time with her and are sad when she is up in her crate. We have been taking a lot of walks lately and sometimes you don't even want in your car! You are starting to prefer walking alongside Daddy and I. You do really well with listening and staying on the sidewalk. I just can't believe that you are old enough to do that!

I really miss you being so small and new. You were such an adorable baby! But I am also so excited to watch to grow up too! You are our pride and joy and we adore you! So happy Birthday sweet son...May this be the one of many that you are happy and healthy.

Love you always,


Monday, May 11, 2009

Bloodwork results and instant fear.

I'm freaking right now. Actually freaking out isn't the word, scared beyond belief fits better.

Got my results back from the beta today.

We were wanting it above 4.000 because that would signal that it was doubling within normal limits.

Well, my number was 7,059.

I am happy that they are doubling (tripling) ok but now I am just plain scared out of my mind that there are 2 babies in there.

I know beggers can't be choosers and everything, but man, this is just so scary.

I picture my homebirth going out the window, being strapped to a operating table, delivering pre-term babies who will be in the NICU for months, not being able to nurse them, etc.

I'm really, really scared now. I don't know if I can handle two babies at once.

Thank you all so much for the support and encouragement! I am really feeling better about it today and am much more calm.

I think that a small part of me was expecting the numbers to not double (as if I am waiting for something bad to happen) and the high numbers just took me completely off-guard.

I hope that no one thinks that I am complaining about this situation at all! I am very, very excited about this! I am beyond thrilled to be pregnant! :) I just use this blog as a venting space for all my thoughts and fears and this happened to be one of them yesterday.

Last day of bloodwork...

I have more bloodwork (HCG test) today. We are hoping that it doubled nicely. So anything over 4,000 would be great. I am really nervous about this! Hoping that I have good news to report this afternoon!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Being a mama is amazing...

Happy Mother's Day!!

I am so lucky that I get to experience motherhood! I never take a day for granted but it is so nice to have today to spend with my family.

It is a quiet day here at home for us. Just Brandon, Nathan, and I hanging around our house. Brandon got me a spa gift card from Nathan and the baby and some lilies. So sweet! I have a great husband! He is making me brunch right now and we have a good dinner planned for tonight.

Off to enjoy the day!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Update on other aspects of my life...

I realized in all the other excitement, that I haven't really talked about the fact that I was recently accepted into the Certified Nurse Midwifery Master's program! I am feeling so excited about that and a little anxious at the same time.

The program is online based for the first year. After that first year, I have to go to clinicals around 20 hours a week. But now with the addition of our newest baby, that will put me going to clinicals when that baby is around 5 months old. I know myself and I know the attachment I have to my babies and I just don't think that I am going to be able to leave them at that stage. Especially with nursing, it makes it hard to be away from him or her.

So I am thinking about pushing back my start date or taking a leave of absence after the first year. I am planning on calling my advisor next week to ask about what I can do.

In other news, Nathan is going to be 2 on Tuesday!! I am so excited for his birthday! Although I am extremely disappointed in some of my family. Many of them have not responded to the invitation and several won't be coming at all. It makes me sad that we won't have many people here for his party. My mom and step-dad, Brandon's parents, and my nephew. It just makes it so sad. :( I want him to always know that he has lots of people that love him. I just wish my friends all lived closer!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

4 weeks

I am 4 weeks today!

I will be doing a weekly post and belly picture. :) Here is my four week belly picture! I did this with my pregnancy with Nathan and it was so fun to watch my belly change each week. Granted, I don't really have a belly yet, but it is nice to have a starting off point. Although you can totally see my bloating that I have going on right now, and the stretch marks courtesy of Nathan Cole. =)

How I am feeling: Pretty good so far. Like I said before, I am really tired all the time. It is hard to get motivated to do anything right now. But I really have to clean! My allergies are acting up and it is time for a big spring cleaning of our house.

What the baby is up to: The baby is now called an embryo! The primitive placenta has been formed and will start to supply blood flow later this week. The baby is now three layers, ectoderm, mesoderm, and endoderm. The ectoderm will be the baby's neural tube (brain and spinal cord). The mesoderm will be the circulatory, reproductive, skeletal, and muscular systems. And the endoderm will eventually be the digestive system, lungs, and bladder. The baby is 1/25th of an inch long. Tiny!

A small note about this week: Some people would criticize me for getting so excited this early in the pregnancy. Lots of women are more hesitant to announce their pregnancies because the rate of miscarriage is high for this stage. And trust me, I know that better than anyone. However, this baby deserves just as much excitement and happiness as any other. Whether he is with us for one week, one month, or nine months, I still love him. And I know that telling everyone this early makes for trouble if we do lose this pregnancy, but I want everyone to know of his existence. I am pregnant NOW and that is all that I can go on.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Second beta results and appointment dates

The nurse FINALLY called back with our second beta HCG results. I swear, that office gets slower and slower with each passing day.

Our beta number was 368! They are looking for it to double every 48 hours and ours more than tripled! This is very good news!

Although that number still is a little high. Part of me is thinking that there may be 2 in there after all. We will know shortly though. Our ultrasound appointment is scheduled for Friday May 22nd. I would actually rather not get ultrasounds as the reviews are mixed on whether or not harm is done to the baby (or babies). But I really do need to make sure that the it (or they) didn't implant in my tubes. And we also really want to know if there are twins involved so that I can be on the proper diet.

I also called my midwives today! Brandi (one of the midwives) was so excited for us! She wants to see me a little earlier than most clients since I had such bad morning (all day) sickness with Nathan. So that appointment is scheduled for Thursday May 28th! I can't wait to see them again!

I am feeling pretty good. The tiredness of the first trimester has started to set in. I am exhausted all the time. But I am enjoying every moment...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

After 15 cycles and 5 IUIs...

I am pregnant!!!! Two beautiful lines popped up this morning! I am so happy, so thrilled, so overjoyed, so....

There just aren't words to descibe how I feel right now.

After getting the positive test, I called Dr. B's office and told them. They asked me to come in for a beta HCG blood test. It was also positive and the number was 106!

Which is actually a little high for this early in the pregnancy. Brandon immediately thought that it was twins. :) We shall see!

I want to take this opportunity to thank all my blog readers. Your support over these many months has been amazing! I hope that you continue to follow me throughout the pregnancy.

We did it!!!!!!!!!