The waiting game

I can't believe that December is here. November went by really quickly!

Although I am sure that the next week is going to go sooooo slow. I am currently 5DPO (days post ovulation/IUI) and it seems like time has suddenly stopped.

I will know a week from today if our IUI was successful. But sadly, I am already preparing myself for failure. My lovely PMS symptoms are starting to appear and it makes me so sad. I always have a stuffy nose (don't ask me why) before a new cycle begins and last night I could hardly breathe! I have also noticed that I am really moody. I snapped at Brandon this morning for no good reason. My face also breaks out before a new cycle. I don't have that yet, but I know that it is coming.

It just makes me so sad, that we have to go through this. It is really just not fair. :( And I know what you are thinking. You are thinking "Man, she is being so pessimistic! It is impossible to know what will happen." I know, I know. The sad thing about infertility is that it draws all the optimism out of those who have to go through it. I have to mentally prepare myself for disappointment because I want to protect myself from being surprised. Don't get me wrong though, a tiny voice in the back of my head is still hoping that this is the month. Because without hope, why do we even go through this?