Thursday, October 9, 2008

Our (ever-changing) fertility plan...

It seems as though we change our path every couple of months. I promise that we aren't indecisive! It just seems that way...

Brandon and I sat down a couple of nights ago and really took a hard look at our current and future financial status. While I won't really go into details here, we are finally to a point where we are able to save a little money and pay our current bills. The problem is, we have accrued some debt. We both have student loans to pay off. We have the loan for our first IVF cycle that we have to pay. We have a brand new mortage and a couple of credit cards from awhile ago. Thankfully, we own both of our cars but to be honest they are both getting older (sorry to say it Betty!---Betty is my car's name--don't laugh!). So we aren't sure about whether or not they will hold out. We have a son that we need to start saving for college for. And as new homeowners, we really have to save for repairs that could spring up on our house.

So we finally got realistic with ourselves. There is no IVF in our future. It is a hard pill to swallow and obviously we are upset about it. The way that we are going now, it will take years and years for us to save up that much money (and handle everything mentioned above). And while you are probably thinking, why doesn't she just go back to work?! While that is a good idea, we both agreed that we wouldn't sacrifice the way we want to raise our first child in order to have a second. It isn't fair to Nathan. He deserves to have his mother at home with him. And I do plan on going back to work eventually, but I am sure by then we will have more bills (like new car loans) so it will all even out. Granted we could just wait until we do have the money. But when Brandon and I picture our family, we really want our children spaced closer than that. We want to be able to do things as a family and having an 8 year old and a newborn just isn't practical for us. And you are probably thinking, well just deal with it, if you want another child that bad! Well, while that line of thinking is nice, we just aren't willing to sacrifice our hopes and dreams yet.

So after much discussion, we have decided to meet with Dr. B (our fertility doctor) to discuss our options with IUI. If you aren't sure what IUI is, click here. The basic jist is that Brandon's sperm is washed and the best ones are picked out. They are then placed back at the top of my uterus so that they are closer to the egg. I may or may not be on some super-ovulation meds to up the number of eggs I release. Dr. B will tell us all about that.

So I took the brave step and called his office this morning. That was like a time-warp (I still have the number in my phone). We are now on a waitlist for a Saturday appointment because Brandon can't take off any time right now. Other than that, we will have to wait until January to see him due to Brandon's schedule. Ugh...or we could see him at the end of December at his other office (2 hours away). I will have to talk to Brandon about it when he calls for lunch. I may have to go the the appointment alone and report back. ****Edit- Our appointment is for November 5th at 3:00pm!!! :) Brandon said that he could take a half-day off work to go! Not nearly as far away as I thought.

Anyway, there you have it. The new plan. We aren't talking about what will happen if the IUIs don't work. We will cross that bridge when we come to it.


April&Jason said...

Mandie - I'm so hoping and praying an IUI works and you get you second lil miracle! Good luck sweetie! HUGS!!

Holly - Lilly's Mommy said...

Mandie: what a difficult decision for you to make :( I will be hoping and praying that the IUI will work for you and that you will be blessed with another beautiful baby.

You are very strong and i applaud you for not sacrificing your parenting decisions to increase your family. Good for you. You truly are an amazing mother!

Love ya **HUGS**

Natosha said...

Mandie- I hope the IUIs will work for you. I am so sorry that you are faced with such difficult times conceiving. It is so hard. I just want you to know that we are here for you when you need to vent or cry. Hugs. Love ya!