Monday, February 18, 2008

Attachment parenting: What it is and why we do it...

I never thought that I would subscribe to a particular type of parenting. Before I had Nathan, I just assumed that I would go with the flow and follow his lead. Turns out, THAT is the basis of something called Attachment Parenting.

Attachment parenting is based on following the child’s lead and creating a firm attachment between the parents and the child.

There are five concepts of attachment parenting as defined by Dr. Sears (an attachment parenting guru).

1. Bond and attach shortly after birth. The benefits of this are endless. attachment

2. Read and respond to his cues at all times. For example, when Nathan cries I go to him and comfort him. It is important for children to know that their parents will be there for them no matter what. Trusting my instincts is a major part of this concept. Many critics of this theory think that responding to your baby’s needs will “spoil” a child. Well, I would hate to see a child spoiled by too much love; that would be awful wouldn’t it?! Babies communicate by crying and answering those cries let Nathan know that I will always be there for him. Allowing him to "cry it out" (for example, many parents do this to "teach" children to go to sleep) is just something that I could not do. In fact, employing this technique is very detrimental to children. A study by Harvard university found that using this method often leads to post-traumatic stress disorders, anxiety issues, panic attacks, depression, insomnia, and a host of other problems as the child reaches adulthood. The study says that this particular American childrearing practice is influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that these parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.

3. Breastfeed. We all know my thoughts on this one! But seriously, breastfeeding is the basis of healthy mother/ child attachment and connection. Not to mention all the other benefits.

4. Wear your baby. Using a sling or simply carrying your baby in stores and around the house promotes healthy attachment.

5. Co-sleeping. Sleeping close to Nathan allows me to respond to his nighttime needs. Parenting doesn’t end at sundown! It also makes for easier nighttime nursing. And there is nothing better than waking up to Nathan’s sweet face every morning.

There are other aspects to attachment parenting to apply as Nathan gets older.

I never ask that others practice the same parenting that I do. I just wanted to share how wonderful I think attachment parenting is.

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