Thursday, June 30, 2011

Update on my June goals

Now that the month is nearly over, it is time to evaluate my goals and see how well I did this month!!

-I want to run at least 10 miles a week. By the end of June, I would like to be able to run for 5 miles at a time. I think this is a pretty good goal. Last week was the first time that I ran for 4 miles, so I think that a goal of 5 miles is totally reasonable. I did awesome at this! I did at least 10 miles a week, and last week, I hit 12 miles. I haven't ran for 5 miles yet, but that is on the schedule for today!

-Rock my next 5K! I want to beat my last 5K time of 40:10. My next race is this weekend June 4th!! I'm excited because it is in my town so I don't have to get up so early! I'm ready to do it! I did really well at my 5K on June 4th. I cut 3 minutes off my previous time! I don't have a race on the schedule right now, but I'm looking at another 5K on July 16th.

-I've been sticking very closely to my half-marathon training plan, so I'd like to keep that up! I do Pilates or Kettlebells on off days. So I'm going to stick to that for the month of June. I have stuck pretty close to my half-marathon training plan. I'm going a bit slower than I would like, but building my mileage up is hard work!

-I would like to weigh 155 by June 30th. This may be a lofty goal actually. I didn't do very well on my diet over Memorial Day (damn you Red Velvet Cake), so I gained two pounds (although this could be fluctuation too because my weight likes to yo-yo from day to day). Either way, I was at 158 this morning, so I've got 3 pounds to lose this month! I rocked this goal! I was at 153.8 this morning! Which means I lost 4.2 pounds this month!

-I want to continue tracking my calories and control my portions. This has become such a habit now and I've been doing really well.

Non-health related:

-I want to get last Summer completely scrapbooked. I am about a year behind and would like to slowly get caught up. I didn't do so great with this. It was hard to dedicate my time to sitting down this month. It seemed like I was always busy.

-Now that Nathan is out of school, I would like to do 3 trips a week with the kids. Either to the park, pool, or to visit Grandma. I helps for us to get out of the house and break the monotony. Daily (for nice days) walks are also in the plan. We've done this for sure! We've gone to the Children's museum and to visit my mom and the park. We've been outside every day we possibly could.

-Stick to my cleaning schedule so that the house stays somewhat nice. House is clean! I've been doing pretty well at keeping up.

-Continue my long and depressing job search. I actually have an interview this Saturday afternoon, so I'm hoping that goes well. We shall see! Job search is OVER! I have a new job and I start on July 11th!

All in all it was a great month. I'm happy with my work-out schedule and my weight loss. Kids are doing well and I'm enjoying the summer. Coming soon: a list of goals for July!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Saturday, June 18, 2011

My longest run

I ran for 4.5 miles today! One hour total of running!

I felt great for the entire time. In fact, my last mile was much faster than my first.

My legs were achy but overall I felt that I could have kept going beyond that.

Friday, June 17, 2011

I'm no longer a nursing mother

We made it 17 months.

I'm both sad and happy about this. Sad because it means that my boys are growing up and that I'll never get to nurse another tiny baby. But happy because I did it. I did so much more than what I even thought that I could.

This has not been an easy journey. It started here. At not even 2 months into nursing these babies, I was doubting my ability and will to keep going. I spent 8-10 hours of my day nursing back then. All day, around the clock. It was in that post that I expressed my feelings of pain and frustration while nursing. But I also committed myself to nursing for one year.

I had to tell myself daily to keep going back then. I cried through nearly every feeding. After months of struggle, I learned about D-MER and I could relate that to what I was experiencing. For those who don't know, D-MER is dysphoric milk ejection reflex. More common among twin moms, it basically explains my sadness and feelings of hopelessness and restlessness while nursing. I did not have this issue with Nathan, but did with the twins because I was experiencing two let-downs at once.

It was up and down for the following months. Rare moments of peace and a lot of tears (mine and the babies). But I persevered because I had to. We tried bottles of pumped milk and they weren't impressed.

After two rounds of thrush and two rounds of mastitis, I was sure that I would quit. But I didn't. I kept going.

At a year, I celebrated. I had made it to my goal. I felt amazing. I felt so proud of the amount of work that I had put in over the past year. I agreed to start the weaning process.

Weaning was slow-going. I began by dropping one feeding every month. I knew the process would take awhile as they were nursing 6 times a day at a year.

I pushed through. One by one the feedings decreased and I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

On Sunday, June 12th, I nursed the babies for the last time. I sat down to feed them and I hit me how big they were. I just felt done. It was like a switch had been flipped and I allowed myself to be honest. I was just done. I kissed their heads and told them I loved them. I breathed them in one last time and watched their sleepy faces as they looked up at me.

It has been four days. They are doing great and I don't even think they really notice. I really have to thank my husband for being so supportive. He has held my hand through hours of feedings and let me cry on his shoulder when it just got to be too much. I wouldn't have made it without his support.

As I close the book on my nursing journey, I feel happy. I'm so proud that I have done this for my babies.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Letters to my sons

Dear Gavin,

17 months old now! June is here and it has been so hot! We have been outside a lot lately. We are definitely enjoying the summer so far.

17 months old and you are chatting up a storm! Granted, only I can understand what you are saying, but it is adorable. You've gotten several teeth in this past month. Although getting teeth doesn't seem to bother you as much. We've also started to give you some juice. You love it. You smack your lips together and down it in seconds. You love the book "Little Blue Truck". We read it every night and you are starting to get the hang of some of the motions we do. It is fun to see you so interested in books and reading. You love playing outside in the pool. You love going to the park. You look way too small to be doing some of the things you are doing! You can climb up the ladder and go down the slide all by yourself. It nearly gave me a heart attack the first time I saw you do it. You run all around with Nathan and you think that you are 3 years old or something. It is adorable. You love it when we go on walks around the neighborhood. You ride in the stroller with Kai and you both are so content. You are still a Daddy's boy. The minute he gets home from work, you are in his arms. It makes my heart smile to see that. You are pointing to all the people in our family now! I'll say "Where's Nathan?" and you point straight to him and say "There!".

Tonight was your last nursing session sweet boy. I've decided that we need to be done. It is such a hard transition for me, but you will be just fine. We were down to one session right before bed, so we are just going to have to find another way to get you to sleep. We made it 17 months, just you, Kai, and me. This is hard for me because I know that you are growing up and my sweet babies aren't really babies anymore.

I love you so much Gavin.

Mama

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Dear Kai,

June has arrived and the hot weather has been crazy this month! You are 17 months old now!

You are getting so big Kai-bear. Your personality is so inquisitive and you are constantly trying to figure out how stuff works. You tend to play on your own and prefer the quiet. You love playing outside in the pool. You take cups of water and pour them over the ground. You love getting dirty and muddy. You have learned how to go up the ladder and down the slide. You also like to scare mama by leaping into my arms from the top of the playset. You are a picky eater and you know what you like. If you don't like it it ends up on the floor. You have learned that throwing things is fun, so we are working with you on that. You love reading time at the end of the day. You bring me books and sit so contently while I read them. You are mama's boy and you look for me all over the house so that you know where I am. You have gotten several more teeth in and are sleeping so much better at night. You love smiling for pictures and turn on your cute Kai smile whenever I say "Picture". You have adorable expressions. You love going for walks in the stroller. You love cookies. You are pointing to all the people in our family now! I'll say "Where's Gavin?" and you point straight at him.

Tonight was your last nursing session Kai. I'm sad that my babies are growing up and moving on. We were down to once a day, but I realized that I need to be done now. The three of us made it 17 months. I know this will be a transition for you, but it is the right thing to do.

I'll never stop loving you.

Mama

Saturday, June 11, 2011

12.5 lbs down!

My goal for June was 155! .4 pounds to go! I'm so happy!

And these posts are tagged as Biggest Loser. The competition is technically over, but I'm keeping it up!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

2nd 5K results

Finished 31st (small race)

Time: 37:21

Average pace: 12:03

I'm very happy with how I did. And I know I can do even better next time!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The job hunt is OVER!

I was offered a position today!! It is at an Outpatient Treatment Center. Mostly doing IV therapy and chemotherapy. It is perfect hours, I can choose when I want to work.

I never pictured myself doing something like this, but I'm excited for the change. It will allow me to learn and grow as a nurse while making money for my family. I will also be able to not miss time with my kids because I will be working mostly weekend mornings.

Monday, June 6, 2011

I'm never going back

Yesterday, I bought a bikini.

I haven't worn a bikini in years. For some insane reason, I had it in my head that I didn't deserve to wear one. I was too heavy. Too jiggly. Too soft. Too many stretch marks from carrying three kids. I wasn't worthy of a pretty bikini.

It has three months of work, but I know that I deserve one now. And it isn't just the weight. Sure, that is a big part of it. I graduated college at 185lbs. So I'm almost 30lbs lighter than I was then. During fertility treatments, I went up to 195lbs. At 40 weeks pregnant with twins, I weighed 230lbs. The weight is a big part my journey. But I'm such a different person in other ways too. I'm healthier mentally too. I have more faith in myself now.

I will always have these stretch marks. No one has gained 50lbs in 9 months and doesn't have them. But it is ok. I'm still worthy of wearing a bikini.

And, I'm going to rock it.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

My 2nd 5K race!

I had a great race this morning! It was just starting to get hot, so I was a little slow, but much faster than last time! Brandon had the kids so I didn't have pictures of the start. It started at 8am this morning. This race was really small. Maybe 100 people? But it was fun and well-organized. Although towards the end, I was all alone and I was kinda confused on where to go. And around 1.5 miles, there was another monster hill, but it was ok. I really do have issues running in this heat though. And I've started to have some leg pain on the days of my runs. I'm wondering if I am pushing it too hard. I may scale back my half-marathon training and just try to maintain my current mileage for awhile.
Coming toward the finish!! I see my babies! Brandon brought them to watch me race. Best hubby ever.
Finish line! Look at that time! Almost a whole three minutes better than last time!
Me and my boys. Brandon said they were so good while waiting for me! It was the best feeling ever to see them all waiting for me and clapping.
109 this time!