Monday, June 6, 2011

I'm never going back

Yesterday, I bought a bikini.

I haven't worn a bikini in years. For some insane reason, I had it in my head that I didn't deserve to wear one. I was too heavy. Too jiggly. Too soft. Too many stretch marks from carrying three kids. I wasn't worthy of a pretty bikini.

It has three months of work, but I know that I deserve one now. And it isn't just the weight. Sure, that is a big part of it. I graduated college at 185lbs. So I'm almost 30lbs lighter than I was then. During fertility treatments, I went up to 195lbs. At 40 weeks pregnant with twins, I weighed 230lbs. The weight is a big part my journey. But I'm such a different person in other ways too. I'm healthier mentally too. I have more faith in myself now.

I will always have these stretch marks. No one has gained 50lbs in 9 months and doesn't have them. But it is ok. I'm still worthy of wearing a bikini.

And, I'm going to rock it.

6 comments:

Stacy said...

Good for you! You do deserve to wear a bikini after all your hard work!

Mandy said...

You go girl.

CLeigh said...

I'm very happy for you! Like Stacy said, you deserve to wear a bikini after all of your hard work! You are such an inspiration. I am working towards a healthier lifestyle as well. I have lost almost 30 lbs and feel so much happier mentally and physically, so I know EXACTLY how you feel. Keep up the awesome work! You look amazing!

Erin said...

You rock that bikini! I've only seen you in person twice, and I thought you looked great!

Syd said...

Those stretch marks are a badge of honor. You did something most women can't do, you carried twins to FULL term. You are an amazing woman. I am so proud of you for ALL your accomplishments & you continue to inspire me daily.

Jamie said...

Rock it! You're a total inspiration!