Is seriously one of the hardest things I have ever done! It seems like, with twins, every new stage is the hardest thing I have ever done. But this is seriously difficult! I am nursing probably 8-10 hours out of every day. The boys are wanting to nurse every hour or so. All that would be fine if I could nurse them at the same time. But I loathe, hate, despise, tandem nursing. Seriously, every time I have to nurse them both together I find myself wanting to throw myself off a bridge. I have no idea if it is hormones from having two let-downs or what, but tandem nursing makes my skin crawl.
I debated on whether or not to post this. But I really want fellow twin mamas/ future twin mamas to hear the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
With these babies there are very few times of sunshine and rainbows while nursing. I rarely get the warm, fuzzy feeling while nursing them. It is really sad! With Nathan, I adored nursing! It was the greatest aspect of being his mother and I could sit and nurse him for hours and hours! Now, I am nursing because it is my responsibility as their mother to feed them. Sure, once in a blue moon I will get a nice, happy feeling while nursing, but those are few and far between. The main reason is that I am just nursing so much! The amount of time spent nursing doesn't allow for any time for myself. Seriously, yesterday, I had one 5 minute period when I didn't have a baby on me. So that in itself makes it hard and I do understand now why so many twin mamas don't nurse/ quit nursing.
Of course, I would never quit. I am far too dedicated to this. I am far too committed to my babies having the best for me to do anything else.
So I have committed myself to nursing these boys for one year. If at the end of one year, I still feel this way about nursing, then I will give myself permission to wean. Which is also not like me at all because I have always been a supporter of baby-led weaning. But I think that nursing twins for a year will be quite the accomplishment and I will allow myself to be proud and move on.
Although that is not to say that I am not hoping that my feelings on nursing get better so that I can continue past a year. I am hopeful for that. We shall see.
Go easy on me....