Thursday, June 11, 2009

More thoughts on OCD

So my therapy session was mostly a session directed towards my past birth trauma with Nathan and some guilt that I am carrying. I have always had anxiety but it seems since Nathan's birth, things have magnified. I have very obsessive thoughts and frequent flashbacks from that day. So I really have to work through that. As I said, my therapist thinks that I may have Obessive Compulsive Disorder. I just don't have the compulsion part (washing hands twenty times, etc.). I guess excessive guilt is a symptom of OCD. It feels so nice to have a word for what I am going through. She thinks that I have had it most of my life (makes total sense) and is also causing some of my insomnia. Anyway, we are going to be meeting once a week from now until the babies are born (and probably well after that).

I feel like OCD is such a daunting diagnosis. You hear a lot about that disorder and relate it to people having germ issues or having to close the door eight times before moving, etc. Even I never realized that you can have the obsession part without the compulsion part.


Anonymous said...

I have OCD and for me as well it was a relief to finally have a diagnosis that makes sense. Prior talk about generalized anxiety and phobias never really seemed to accurately describe my condition. I do have the compulsions part of OCD, but the obsessions - recurring disturbing thoughts and my brain seeming to get "stuck" on a thought - were always the least noticeable symptom to others and the most troublesome to me!

Good luck fighting this. It's hard, but it can be done! I'm glad you have a therapist who understands OCD. That was a big help to me.


Twisted Cinderella said...

((hugs)) I hope that having a diagnosis and working with your therapist will make things easier for you.