So my therapy session was mostly a session directed towards my past birth trauma with Nathan and some guilt that I am carrying. I have always had anxiety but it seems since Nathan's birth, things have magnified. I have very obsessive thoughts and frequent flashbacks from that day. So I really have to work through that. As I said, my therapist thinks that I may have Obessive Compulsive Disorder. I just don't have the compulsion part (washing hands twenty times, etc.). I guess excessive guilt is a symptom of OCD. It feels so nice to have a word for what I am going through. She thinks that I have had it most of my life (makes total sense) and is also causing some of my insomnia. Anyway, we are going to be meeting once a week from now until the babies are born (and probably well after that).
I feel like OCD is such a daunting diagnosis. You hear a lot about that disorder and relate it to people having germ issues or having to close the door eight times before moving, etc. Even I never realized that you can have the obsession part without the compulsion part.