I'm freaking right now. Actually freaking out isn't the word, scared beyond belief fits better.
Got my results back from the beta today.
We were wanting it above 4.000 because that would signal that it was doubling within normal limits.
Well, my number was 7,059.
I am happy that they are doubling (tripling) ok but now I am just plain scared out of my mind that there are 2 babies in there.
I know beggers can't be choosers and everything, but man, this is just so scary.
I picture my homebirth going out the window, being strapped to a operating table, delivering pre-term babies who will be in the NICU for months, not being able to nurse them, etc.
I'm really, really scared now. I don't know if I can handle two babies at once.
Thank you all so much for the support and encouragement! I am really feeling better about it today and am much more calm.
I think that a small part of me was expecting the numbers to not double (as if I am waiting for something bad to happen) and the high numbers just took me completely off-guard.
I hope that no one thinks that I am complaining about this situation at all! I am very, very excited about this! I am beyond thrilled to be pregnant! :) I just use this blog as a venting space for all my thoughts and fears and this happened to be one of them yesterday.