Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

38 weeks!!

Belly picture coming soon!

How I am feeling: Honestly, I never thought I would make it this far!! My whole pregnancy has been building up to making it to 37 weeks, so this is new territory for me. I am not going to sugarcoat things here (just in case there are other twin mamas out there looking for some commiseration) but my poor body is slowly giving out. With every step I take, my back and pelvis feels like it is breaking in half. The skin on my lower belly is so stretched that it has cracked open and is bleeding. My skin itches so bad every second of every day. This skin itching is, by far, the most severe form of torture that I can imagine. I wake up in the middle of the night with my hands covered in blood from itching. It is bad. Speaking of nighttime, I am only sleeping about 30-45 minutes at a time. There is no position that I can be comfortable in, so I am just exhausted. I am not really meaning to complain here, because to me, there is nothing worse than a whiny, pregnant woman. I hear women complaining all the time and it drives me crazy, so I am just sharing the cold, hard facts about twin pregnancy. I still feel very lucky to be pregnant at all. I still love these babies more than anything. And I will still carry on with this pregnancy so that they get every day they possibly can inside the womb.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Reflections on this pregnancy as I near the end...

I know in my heart that the end of this pregnancy is near. I feel that surge of excitement that can only be explained by this knowledge. My goal is just 2 days away now. My body is preparing for labor. I feel the intense pressure caused by one of my sons' heads. I feel the decrease in movement because they have run out of space. They are coming soon.

This has been a pregnancy full of ups and downs. What started out as a struggle to get pregnant is about to end with two, tiny, souls being welcomed into our family. My heart aches to think about the fear and uncertainty I felt when I found out that I was carrying two babies. I wanted to escape. I wanted to run away from a "high-risk" pregnancy. It was such a dark and depressing time in my life. I was so afraid for these babies, for our family, and for myself. I thought that there would be no way that I could come out of this pregnancy with two, big, healthy babies. I doubted myself and I doubted my body. The thought of that makes me ashamed because I know now that my body is so strong.

Although, I had to experience those dark times, in order to be where I am today. I have learned so much about myself during this pregnancy. I learned that I am strong. I am capable of handling anything. These babies were meant to come to us. I was meant to be their mother. And here I am, just days away from my goal. And likely just days away from meeting these tiny beings. My pregnancy was not "high-risk". It was relaxed and smooth. I did not allow fear of the medical community to cloud my judgement and decisions regarding my care.

I am lucky. I sit here with a belly full of two lives. There are three heartbeats inside my body right now. I look forward to birth. I can't wait to meet them.

Friday, December 18, 2009

36 week belly picture!

How am I even able to stand up??!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

36 weeks!

Belly picture to come this afternoon!

How I am feeling: Pretty good considering I am carrying over 12lbs of baby. I mean, sure, my list of complaints is growing by the day, but it is all worth it. Everyone who asks me when I am due gets a look of shock on their faces until I tell them that we are having twins. My belly is really, really big. :) I am carrying the babies very low now because Baby A is firmly engaged in my pelvis. That is actually a very comforting thought though. With his head being so low, it is very unlikely that he will turn into a breech position at this point. So, I am very lucky in that aspect. In talking with other twin moms (who mostly see OBs) many of them are getting so much pressure from their care providers about the babies' positions. It is so nice to have a midwife who gives me no pressure whatsoever. My appointments are very relaxed and I make all the decisions regarding my care. It really is a wonderful thing. A friend of mine is 38 weeks with twins now and her OB is demanding a c-section because "He doesn't want the babies to get too big." How sad is that? I'm very grateful for my midwife! In other news, I am now just one week away from my goal!!!! I am so excited to make it this far. Every day that these little guys are inside is one more day closer to full-term, big, fat, healthy babies! In the beginning of this pregnancy, I had a lot of naysayers. They would make comments like "Twins always come early" or "You'll never go to full-term". It will feel nice to prove them wrong! And even if the babies come this week, 36 weeks is still amazing and I know that they will be just fine.

I talk to the babies all the time. Telling them to stay in until next week. So hopefully, they listen to their mother. :) Hypnobabies is going well. I really love the relaxation it provides me. I am excited to use it for the birth. That's right folks, I am really, very excited to give birth!! I will say that at this stage in my pregnancy with Nathan, I was scared. Not this time! It is amazing to have a care provider that actually cares about the outcome of my birth. I had a wonderful dream last night. They babies were born at home with no problems. It was amazingly real. So, all in all, I am doing very well. Surprisingly good actually. Just taking it day by day. Next week, at 37 weeks, I will be celebrating like you wouldn't believe! To make it to that goal will feel amazing!

What the babies are up to: Growing and adding fat! They are fully formed and just waiting for their births.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Trial run with birth pool... was like a little piece of heaven. I am convinced that there is absolutely no where else on Earth that I would want to have these babies. Last night, we set up the pool for the first time to check on how long it would take to fill and to make sure we didn't have any leaks. Everything went perfectly and I was able to relax in the pool for a little while. It was so lovely. It was almost magical in here. I loved being in the warm water and looking at our Christmas tree. It kinda makes me want to have these babies while the tree is still up. :)
If anyone is wondering, that pool is La Bassine. I highly recommend it! Very affordable and comfortable! Super easy to fill and drain.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Professional Maternity Pictures

I love how they turned out! I know that I will miss this big belly when the boys are here!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Last Ultrasound!

It went perfectly!

The babies are measuring a week ahead and are around 6lbs each! (That means I am carrying around 12lbs of baby right now!!) They are clearly running out of room in there, but are handling it beautifully. Both babies were practicing their breathing movements and both heart rates were perfect. We were able to see their chunky cheeks and loooooong legs! They both have lots of hair. We saw it swishing around on the screen. It was just so amazing to see them in there and to know that the next time I see them, I will be looking at their sweet faces while holding them.

Getting so close!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Had our home visit last night!

It was awesome! It was so nice to have everyone here and to be talking about the birth. We had our midwife, her assistant, my mom, and my friend here. We shared a meal of potato soup and homemade bread and just chatted about how the births will go.

It was so relaxing and wonderful. This is the time that I start to feel sorry for all those women out there who aren't seeing midwives. Going to a cold, sterile, doctor's office just doesn't sound like fun at this stage in pregnancy. Instead, I was able to just relax and share in the joy of my pregnancy with important people in my life. Heavenly...

The babies heartrates were great and they are both still head down! She estimates them to be around 6lbs each now. So they are growing very well in there.

I am 35 weeks now. Just 13 days until my goal of 37 weeks!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Birthing beads

I am a member of a Due Date club at This is a group of women from all over the US and Canada that are all due with babies in January 2010. We all decided to do a "bead swap". Each woman picked beads that were meaningful to them and sent them to a "bead hostess". Our sweet bead hostess then grouped the beads together and sent them back to us. The purpose of doing this was to create a necklace to wear during our birthing journeys so that we could feel the love and support of all of these special women.

The center pendant is most important to me. This was sent to me by a group of women I have known for over 4 years, but have never met. They are amazing and special women in my life. They have been there for me through our infertility, our loss of Noel, IVF, Nathan's birth, and so on. After Nathan's traumatic birth, they helped me process what happened and helped me learn and grow from it. They are so supportive and just generally the most awesome group of ladies that I have had the privilege of knowing. This center pendant is a mother holding her twin babies.

I adore the necklace. When I put it on, I feel the love radiating from it. I can see myself giving birth while wearing it and that makes my heart smile.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

34 weeks!

How I am feeling: BIG. GIGANTIC. LARGE. I had a midwife appointment yesterday and my belly is measuring 49 weeks. 49 weeks?!! The average pregnancy is around 40 weeks and ends up measuring 40cms. I am 9cms over that already! I literally cannot believe how big my belly is. It doesn't even look possible that could be standing up! I have gained 32 lbs so far, which is right on track for twins, but it doesn't stop me from feeling enormous. In other news, the midwife is pleased with my progress. The boys are doing well in there and Baby A has dropped into my pelvis. This causes my belly to hang really low, it seems. This just happened within the past two days or so. The heartbeats sound great, although it took awhile to find Baby B's because he was hiding behind his brother. Which also makes it hard for me to feel Baby B moving. It scares me sometimes! I have another ultrasound scheduled for next week, so hopefully that will put some of my fears to rest. The midwife just wants to check on the growth of the babies and their fluid levels. Let's see, what else is new this week? Oh, I feel like I have been run over by a truck. I have a horrible cold and it is just not going away! That is causing me to be very emotional and very whiny. I just want to feel better! And today it seems like Nathan has caught my cold. Wonderful. So anyway, not really a happy post here, huh? Hopefully I will feel better soon.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Nathan Cole = Big boy


I just can't believe how much he has grown up.

He is completely mastered using the potty. We haven't had an accident in a long time. He is also staying dry all night now. He woke up this morning around 8:00am and said "Potty!" He is just getting so big. Pretty soon, we won't need the nighttime diaper at all.

He is also sleeping all night in his own bed. This morning he slept until 7:15. He woke up and then came and snuggled in bed with me until he had to go potty.

My baby boy is growing up. Pretty soon he will be a big brother. The thought of that makes me smile and cry at the same time.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Preview of maternity pictures

These are just a preview of some of the maternity pictures we had taken yesterday! I can't wait to share some of our favorites!

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

It is always nice to remember the things that I am thankful for and what better day to do that!

I am so thankful for:

-My husband. He is a great man and a wonderful father. He treats me so well and we have a good, strong marriage.

-Nathan Cole. What an amazing little boy we have. He is just so adorable and loving. He is growing and changing every day and I am just so proud of him.

-These two sweet babies growing inside me. There is no better time of year to be pregnant. I am so thankful that the boys are growing so well. I am so thankful that my body is changing and growing right along with them.

-Our home. I love it here. It is the perfect house for us at this stage of our lives. It is so cozy and warm.

-My family. I have a great mama and wonderful brothers. We are a crazy bunch, but we stick together. I'm thankful that my in-laws are great people too. I got really lucky!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Night three and other things...

Night three went better. Although I am 100% sure that it has something to do with the fact that I took some Benadryl to help with my skin itching, so I was able to finally sleep.

Nathan slept from 9:30-6:30, then woke up, got into bed with me and slept until 8:30. I feel much better today after getting some sleep last night, but I know that was just because of the Benadryl.

Speaking of Benadryl, so far, the worst thing about twin pregnancy is the stretching of the skin on my belly. It is so painful and so itchy all the time. It is an almost constant itch! Very annoying.

Oh and something exciting happened yesterday!! My birth pool was delivered!! I was so excited to get that package! It makes it feel so real. :) I also hit 33 weeks yesterday. Only 4 weeks to go until I reach my goal! I can do it!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Night Two didn't go any better for me

I only got (maybe) 2-3 hours of sleep.

Nathan, on the other hand, slept until 4am. He woke up crying and I heard him in the hallway frantically looking for us. I went and got him and put him into bed with me. That is when I finally was able to fall asleep.

I just don't know if I can do this yet. But I feel some sort of pressure to do it because of the babies coming. I just wish that we could all sleep in the same bed. I'm not sure that Nathan will be able to sleep through nighttime feedings and crying from the babies.

Monday, November 23, 2009

How do people do this from birth???

Last night was the first night with Nathan sleeping in another room. He did ok. He went to sleep easily, but woke up around 1:00am to get into bed with us. I expected that.

I however, did not do ok. I didn't fall asleep until he came to bed with us. I just could not go to sleep knowing that he was in another room.

It really made me wonder how parents do this to their newborns. Makes my heart hurt just thinking about it.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Cloth diaper stash for the twins...

Here is where all diapers live...This is a shelving unit right by the changing table. You can kinda see the baskets on the changing table too. Those are where Nathan's cloth diapers are.

Babies' first outfit! Cute little matching shirts and diapers with the "Goldfish in bags" print.

All the prefolds! On the left starts with preemie size (for doublers). The orange stack is 24 newborn prefolds. They yellow stack is infant size. In the front are our special prefolds. The two on the left are embellished with "Goldfish in bags" fabric. The two on the right are bamboo velour. Oh so soft...

One-size blueberry diapers! 20 of them. :)

Extra-small Blueberry diapers for the newborn stage.

On the left is small Blueberry All-in-ones. On the right is the medium size.

2 small Blueberry pockets.

Fitted diapers! 6 Goodmama one-size diapers, 2 small Clovers, 2 random newborn fitteds.

Some wool. I am not really experienced with wool, so I don't have a lot of it. These are all newborn size soakers. Thanks Amanda!

Newborn/ one-size covers. As you can see, I still need some newborn covers. 4-6 more should do it. :)

Add in some snappis, wet bags (still need), pail liners, etc. and you have a complete stash for two babies!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

32 weeks!!

My goodness....I am 8 months pregnant now!!!! Time is just flying by so quickly! I will get another belly picture tonight. :)

How I am feeling: Great! I haven't had any more real contractions since that night. I am feeling much more positive that I will carry these babies to term. I had a midwife appointment yesterday and she is very pleased with how well I am doing. I have gained 25lbs so far which is right on track for twins. She is happy with the babies' positions and their size at this point. My blood pressure is still perfect and I am not having any swelling! I am so, so lucky that my pregnancy has been going this well. Mentally, I am doing so well. One of the best choices I made was to go to therapy during this pregnancy. I have learned so much about myself and I feel like it has made me a better person. I am looking forward to the boys' arrival so much now! I absolutely can't wait (well I can...) for them to get here! And speaking of which, my midwife is so pleased with how things are going, she said that as long as I make it to 36 weeks, we are still a go for our homebirth! YAY! Granted, we are hoping they stay in as long as possible. But it does take a weight off to have that week cushion. I am still imagining them coming after 38 weeks around the 30th of December. Even still, it is so hard to imagine that in as little as 4 weeks, we could be meeting our boys! So excited! Not to mention that this is my absolute favorite time of year. I love Thanksgiving and all the Christmas preparations. It just makes me happy inside. I can't wait to watch Christmas movies with Brandon and Nathan. I can't wait to see Nathan's excited face as he sees the tree. What a beautiful time of year to be pregnant!

What the babies are up to: Per the ultrasound, we know that they are a little over 4lbs each! They are quickly growing now and filling out nicely. These last few weeks will be spend packing on the pounds and getting ready for their births! The downy layer of lanugo will begin to fall off this week. Their movements are slowing down because they are quickly running out of space!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Had another ultrasound yesterday

Due to the fact that I had all those contractions last week and that I am entering a time in which lots of twins are born (the uterus is now the size of a full-term pregnancy, so this is common time for preterm birth in twin mamas) I had an ultrasound yesterday.

The good news first: Both babies are head down!! Baby A's head is in exactly the right position for birth. He is curled up on my right side facing his brother with his feet in front of his face. Baby B's head is right next to Baby A's and he is curled up with is back to my left side and his feet are spread across my upper belly. Baby B was the one this time to do all the punching and kicking to Baby A!

Both babies are on the upper side of the scale for weight and length. Baby A weighs (approximately) 4lbs 6oz. Baby B weighs 4lbs 3oz.

We got to see both babies making breathing motions! That is such a good sign for this gestational age. We know that those muscles are working in there and they are practicing to breathe after they are born.

Both babies have hair! The ultrasound technician pointed it out to us. It was adorable! Baby B actually has more hair than Baby A right now.

Now for the so-so news: My cervical length is 2cm. It was at 4cms at our last ultrasound 5 weeks ago. So it is shortening. My midwife isn't too concerned yet though. Basically, she said that some shortening at this stage of the pregnancy is normal. Especially because I am a second-time mom and because I am carrying twins. So we are just going to continue on with our plan of resting as much as I can. We will probably recheck the cervix in 3-4 weeks or so. Some of the twin-mamas I have talked to have said that their cervical length was similar at this stage in their pregnancies and they went on to have full-term babies. So, I am not too worried about it right now. I may go back next week to have another fetal fibronectin test, but I will have to talk to my midwife about that next week.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Letter to my 2 and a half year old boy!

Dear Nathan,

It is so hard to believe that you are 2 and a half. Time has just gone by so quickly. You look so big now. When I look at your baby pictures, I have to struggle to remember what it was like for you to be that small.

You are doing so well. You have this potty learning thing down pat! You are still wearing cloth diapers though. We can't seem to get you to like wearing underwear. We are going to try again soon. But you go all day in the same cloth diaper so it is kind of like wearing underwear. You tell us when you have to go potty, although sometimes we have to remind you. You are still wet at night sometimes, but I can understand that. :)

Your speech is improving daily. We are working on colors and the differences between big and little right now. It is hard to see the changes daily, but over time we can definitely tell that you are expanding on your vocabulary. We meet with speech therapists two times a week. You really like both of them. You look forward to their visits. Their names are Julie and Rya.

We are working with you on understanding how to be gentle with other people/ pets. It is so hard for you to control your big body! You are such a rough and tumble kid, it is hard for you to understand that some people aren't as strong. Your cousin Will being one of those people. We are really trying to work with you though.

Mama's belly is getting very big! The babies are coming soon! You really don't have any concept yet. Although you do point to Mama's belly when I say "Where are the babies?". I am so nervous about how you will react. And a small part of me is mourning the loss of Mama and Nathan time. It has been you and me together for so long. I just hope that you know how much I will always love you. I know these next few months will be difficult for you, but I promise, you will love having brothers to play with someday. And you are such a big helper to me right now. When I drop something, you always pick it up for me so that I don't have to bend over. It makes my heart smile.

Let's see, what new things are you doing these days? You play all the time. You love running around the yard with the dog. You love waiting for Daddy to come home at the end of the day. You stare out the window and yell "Daddy" when he pulls up. You still love watching Spongebob, although you are starting to like Dora the Explorer too. I try not to let you watch too much TV each day, but it is getting so hard for me to move around and play with you. That makes me sad. Thankfully, you have been spending lots of time with Daddy and Grandma! You are also getting better about walking with us and holding our hands. This makes it nice because Mama has a hard time carrying you. Your tantrums are slowly improving, but sometimes it is hard to control your frustration. I understand that feeling though. In other news, we are getting ready to try you sleeping in your own bed. This is a big transition for all of us. I imagine that I will be the one who sheds the most tears about it. I just love waking up to you in the morning. There is nothing better than when you snuggle up next to me and say "Mama".

I am just so lucky to have you in my life. You make me a better person. You will always be special to me and I will always love you, no matter what.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A big change coming at our house


It is time to transition Nathan into his own bed. *sob* I just know that co-sleeping with a toddler and two newborns is going to be next to impossible. And I need to have the crib (it is used as a side-car to our bed) available for the babies.

It is going to be a really hard transition for me. There is nothing better than snuggling up with Nathan at night. He is so warm and lovable.

So for now, we will try having him sleep in the guest room (queen size bed) with bed rails. Brandon will put him down to sleep and then come to our room. We plan on putting a gate up at the end of the hall to prevent him from roaming the house at night. Hopefully he will come to our room if he wakes up. We will try in the guest room for awhile and if he does well, then we will get him his own bed in his room.

Wish us luck! We are starting this weekend.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Doing well

I am doing much better since the ordeal last Thursday.

No more real contractions! I have been taking it pretty easy around the house. Thankfully Brandon cleaned yesterday so that I don't have to look at a messy house.

The waiting is hard. The not knowing is hard. I just want to know that I will carry these babies to term. I am really trying to focus on having faith in my body. It has gotten me this far and I know it will continue on. :) Hypnobabies really helps with this. It is just so relaxing to listen to those CDs at the end of the day.

The only bad thing about being this far into pregnancy is the lack of movement. The boys are quickly running out of room in there and the movements have slowed way down. Thankfully, in just a couple weeks, my appointments with my midwife will be weekly so that we can monitor the babies and I can have a little more peace of mind.

I have to schedule an ultrasound this week to double check on my cervix and to check on the boys' growth patterns. I can't wait for that!

Friday, November 6, 2009

My crazy night last night....

Geez, what a night we had last night.

It all started around 3pm or so. I noticed some sporadic contractions. They weren't very regular but some were painful. Around 4:30 or so, the contractions went to every 5 minutes and some were being felt quite low in my uterus. I called my midwife who instructed me to have a large glass of water and take a warm bath.

The water and bath helped some, but after I got out of the tub, they picked back up to every 5 minutes. I called the midwife back and she said to head to the hospital. I really, really did NOT want to do this. Most of you know of my hospital phobia issues related to my last birth. So I stalled around for awhile hoping they would go away. They didn't, so I called my mom to have her come sit with Nathan, and Brandon and I headed out to the hospital.

Now, I was scared just to walk into the hospital because, let's face it, having twins and a homebirth isn't looked at too fondly these days. My nerves were out of control which I am sure was making the contractions worse.

So, we went up to OB triage and surprisingly, they were very nice! I had the sweetest nurse who had been doing this for 30+ years who didn't even bat an eye when we told her we were planning a homebirth. She did say "Well I'm glad you came in though. Better to get these things checked out and out of the way now." She was just really nice. I was able to tell her a little bit about my hospital phobia and she went out of her way to make sure that I was comfortable and taken care of. She said "Well, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'll be right here the whole time." Needless to say she really made the experience very smooth and I am grateful to her.

So they put me on the monitor and it turns out I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes. The nurse wasn't too pleased with the way things were looking and I wasn't either. However, the good thing was that the contractions that the monitor was picking up weren't painful to me (just Braxton Hicks). So the resident came in and did an exam (OUCH) and took some swabs to send off for the fetal fibronectin test (a test that, if negative, can almost guarantee that you won't be going into labor within the next two weeks). She did say that I was not dilating at all although my cervix was rather soft. She wanted to keep me on the monitors for the next hour to see if the contractions would stop. She also wanted to make sure that they babies' heart rates were doing ok and reactive (they were perfect the whole time!).

So after an hour, the contractions finally started spreading out and I would go 15 minutes without having one! The nurse was really pleased with this. The resident came back in and told me that the fetal fibronectin test was negative (YAY!) and that my cultures and urine tests came back great. She said we were free to go and to follow up with my midwife. Basically I just have an irritable uterus right now and am now on modified bed rest at home.

I tell you though, this experience made me realize how much I do not want to go back to the hospital. I am just hoping that my uterus cooperates and I get to have these babies at home! :)

Friday, October 30, 2009

The master to-do list

So in a previous post, I have our "to-buy" list. It helps to glance at that every now and then to remind me what we still need to get.

However, today I am looking around the house and mentally making a list of everything I need to get done before these babies get here. So here is my to-do list. I love making lists...can you tell? Mainly this really isn't for any one else but me, so feel free to skip reading it because it is boring!

-touch up paint in bathroom
-wash diapers and outfits
-organize kitchen cabinets
-get birthing and postpartum supplies together (by 35 weeks)
-maternity portraits (November 28)
-finish Christmas shopping and wrap presents (done by December 1)
-get baby stuff down from attic and wash soft parts
-put up outside Christmas lights (day after thanksgiving)
-apply for tax credit at courthouse before the end of the year
-order maternity pictures and get scrapbooks done!
-Christmas cards
-string birth beads

I am sure that I will add more as time goes on.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

29 week belly

29 weeks now! In the third trimester and feeling pretty good!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

28 weeks

Holy Cow, I am 7 months pregnant now!!! In the third trimester!! Eek.

How I am feeling: Pretty good actually! In fact, I was mentioning to the midwife yesterday that I can't believe that I am feeling this good. Mentally I am doing really well. I am so excited for these babies to get here. I can't believe that in two months I will have reached my goal of 37 weeks!! I am really just trying to stay positive and know in my heart that I can carry these babies as long as they need. Hypnobabies is really helping me prepare for birth. I like listening to the CDs and it is just so relaxing. Interestingly enough, I am not scared for the birth at all. I know that everything will turn out just fine and have complete faith in my midwife to handle anything that comes up. I asked a friend of mine (from my homebirth support group) to be at the birth and she is so excited!! She is such a calming presence and has had a homebirth herself. I feel like things are falling into place. Now, all I need is to order the birth tub and birth supplies. Speaking of my midwife, I had a prenatal appointment yesterday. The babies and I are doing well! I have gained 19 lbs so far and she is very pleased with that. The boys had nice, strong heartbeats (Baby A-150, Baby B-144). Baby A is head down still, so I wonder if he is going to stay that way. I hope so!! Makes the birth much easier on all of us.

What the babies are up to: The babies' eyes are now open! Their eyelashes have formed too. They are slowly gaining fat and their skin is becoming more filled out. If born now, they have a 90% chance of survival. :)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Pictures from the Fall Festival

The pumpkin-eating dinosaur!
He loves to climb!

He liked these toys.

Watching the dinosaur
Taking a break...


He loved the tractor!

He didn't want to get off.

Huge pumpkins!

Climbing in the pumpkin playhouse

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

26 weeks!

Moving right along!

How I am feeling: Doing pretty well this week. I am really enjoying my Hypnobabies course so far. Physically I am doing ok. Just trying to limit my activity level. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who comes home from work and gets started on my to-do list. :) Other than that, there is nothing really new. I consider it a good day if Nathan and I are both fed/ alive at the end. So my expectations aren't really that high now. We are slowly chipping away at our "To buy" list! I found an awesome stroller on Craigslist for 1/3 of the original price! I am super excited to go pick that up today. We also got some more baby gowns this past weekend, so we are pretty much set on clothing (except sleepers). Thanks my awesome friend Amanda, we now have some XS covers for our diapers!! I just need a couple more of those and I think that we are good. Slowly but surely, we will get there!

What the babies are up to: Well, we know from the ultrasound that they each weigh around 2lbs. Right now they are just busy putting on fat! Their eyes are fully formed and they are very active in there right now!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Had an ultrasound....

I had a prenatal appointment last Wednesday and we talked about all the Braxton Hicks (BH) I have been having. I told her that most of them I was feeling down low and some were quite painful. I didn't really know what was normal in a twin pregnancy, so I just wasn't sure. I am measuring 34 weeks now, so I was a little concerned about all the BH.

Anyway, my midwife wanted me to get an ultrasound to check the cervical length and to make sure that it wasn't funneling or anything. I had the appointment set for this Thursday, but my midwife wasn't pleased that I had to wait that long, so we called and they got me in last Friday.

The babies are doing very well in there so far. Nice big pockets of fluid, etc. Baby A is head down and Baby B is kinda lying across my belly and curved around to have his head near his brother. Each baby weighs about 2lbs now! They are both measuring a week ahead for my dates (which we know are accurate, so they will be be big boys).

My cervix is just fine too! Still very long at 4cm with no signs of dilating at all. YAY! I am so relieved. I am going to have another ultrasound to monitor the cervix for any changes in about 4 weeks or so. But so far, she said that I am carrying the twins like a champ.

I will post some pictures later on. I have a really cute one where it looks like Baby A is kissing baby B on the forehead. *sigh* They are so beautiful in there.

P.S. My ticker has moved to the double digits!!!! Less than 100 days to go!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Starting hypnobabies today!

So thanks to a friend, I was able to borrow the Hypnobabies CDs! This was very helpful to us because we just did not have the money in the budget to purchase them. My friend did not have the workbook, so I was able to call the Hypnobabies company and ask to purchase just the book. The customer service at Hypnobabies is excellent! They allowed me to purchase the workbook and even threw in a special CD just for twin moms for free!

So today begins my Hypnobabies journey! I'm really excited! Having just read the introduction portion, I can tell you that everything makes sense to me.

The introduction focuses on the fact that our society tells women that childbirth needs to be traumatizing and painful. Many women go through their labors and births without ever knowing that it can be the most beautiful experience of their lives. In Hypnobabies, they focus on breaking down those thoughts of pain and trauma related to childbirth and embracing the mind's ability to control the body's sensations. Truly, it is all very fascinating.

So I am learning all about how to trust in my body and how to relax in such a way that I am open to the beauty and spirit of amazing births. I am using births as plural because there are in fact two seperate babies in there! I choose to focus on the positive.

If you are unsure of what Hypnobabies is, you can click here. I will probably be talking a lot about Hypnobabies on here as I go through the self-study course and work towards beautiful births!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A proud mama moment

So this might not be a big deal to some, but today was a really good day in our house.

As most of you know, Nathan has been diagnosed with speech delay and sensory processing disorder. We are working with speech therapists twice a week to increase his vocabulary and understanding of language.

The thing about therapy is that it is often frustrating for him and I. He really tries so hard and it makes me sad to see him struggle with words and those emotions. The process of therapy is also very slow. Changes from week to week are rare, but the big picture changes over months of time is plainly seen.

This week however, Nathan really made me proud. The therapist held 5 crayons in her hand. She asked Nathan to pick the green crayon. I was thinking in my head, "We aren't even working on colors yet. He is not going to know this." I mean, I work on colors with him all the time, but the therapists have not began working on colors yet. Anyway, my amazing son picked the green crayon and yelled "GREEN!" I about cried right there. He IS making progress! He IS listening to me babble on all day about the green grass, the green shirt, the green cup, etc.

It made me feel really good.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

24 weeks

I am considered 6 months pregnant today! So exciting!

How I am feeling: Pretty good right now. I am trying to work with my limitations and not do as much during the day. This seems to help with the shortness of breath that I have been having. I feel a little guilty about it because a lot of the household chores just aren't getting done during the day anymore, but I am doing what I can. I just have to make rest and relaxation a priority right now. The babies are still kicking up a storm in there. I can't imagine what it will feel like when they are bigger! I am having lots of braxton hicks contractions now and they are a bit annoying. I have a midwife appointment next week so I will talk to her about those then. I am wondering if I should have another ultrasound to make sure that my cervix is still nice and thick. I will ask her and she what she says.

What the babies are up to: The babies are regularly sleeping and waking. I can tell when they are sleeping and when they are awake. They sleep most often when I am up and moving around. They wake up the minute I lie down the rest. Real hair is beginning to grow on their heads. By now each may be slightly longer than 8 inches from crown to rump and weigh more than 1 1/3 pounds (630 grams). With intensive medical care, some babies born this week may be able to survive.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Who to have at the birth

I am trying to visualize who will be here when these babies are born. I like to have a set picture in my mind of the faces I will see in the room.

-Obviously Brandon will be here. :) He is a great man to have on hand to do the practical things around the house and to see that my needs are being met.
-2 midwives and their assistant.
-My mom will probably be here for Nathan support. He will need someone here to make sure that his needs are taken care of. Also to make sure to take him out if things get too intense for him. And in case of transfer, I will need someone to stay here.

However, I am thinking that I am going to need another person here for support for me. I just want someone who has gone through this before (homebirth) and who is supportive of homebirth in general. I don't think that I want an actual doula there (mainly because I just don't think that I have that in the budget, see the previous post about stuff to buy). I also want someone who has an eye for photography so that the labor and births can be captured. The logical choice would be a close friend. However, I just don't that many women in my life who fit all those things. I have a couple of people that I know through my homebirth support group, but would that be weird to ask them? "Hey, I know we don't really talk all that much, but can you be here when I give birth?"

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The master "to buy" list

So I realized that if I shoot for my goal of having these babies around the end of December, I only have three months left. And three BUSY months at that! So I needed to make a list of the things we need to get yet.

-Guard rails for beds
-carseat (thinking that we may ask for this for Christmas)
-double stroller (this one for when they are little and I am still looking for the one to use for when they are bigger)
-XS diaper covers
-a few more baby gowns
-a few more baby sleepers
-birthing pool and accessories
-stuff for birth kit
-twin nursing pillow
-belly bandit

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

23 weeks

A little late getting this up here, but 23 weeks now!

How I am feeling: Pretty good right now. It is nice to maintain an even level of hormones. Brandon is finally able to feel the babies moving now, so it is nice that he can connect with them. My belly feels ginormous. It is hard to imagine that I am just over halfway now. I am going to need a crane to move me around soon! The saddest part of having a huge belly already is not being able to hold Nathan close. :( My lap is growing smaller and smaller and Nathan gets frustrated trying to find a place. I also can't give Brandon a big hug! :( Other than that, there is nothing really new this week.

What the babies are up to: Twenty-three weeks into pregnancy, or 21 weeks after conception, the babies' skin is wrinkled, more translucent than before and pink to red in color.
This week the babies begin to have rapid eye movements. Each babies' tongue will soon develop taste buds. Fingerprints and footprints are forming. For boys, the testes are beginning to descend from the abdomen.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

22 weeks

22 weeks today! My belly is growing by the day.

How I am feeling: I love the second trimester! I think my hormones are more balanced now and I am feeling so much better. I am getting excited about the babies coming which is saying a lot considering how I was feeling just a couple of months ago. It really helps to know that we are expecting boys. I feel that I can relate to them now. And Brandon and I have picked out their names (not telling until birth day!) and it makes all the difference to call them by name. I adore the names we have chosen. They are just perfect. So the thought of having two more babies brings a smile to my face now. I won't lie and say that I still don't have moments of worry, but that is my nature and I am ok with that. I still go to therapy once a week to work out my past issues with birth and so that I can get into a better frame of mind for the upcoming labor. I am putting a lot of my focus on making sure that these babies stay in for as long as possible. I have had talks with my two boys and we all agreed that they would wait until 37 weeks to come out. :) I told them to be around 7lbs each and to come out crying for their mama. I have also instructed them to be good little nursers right away. :) Hey, a mama can dream, right?!

What the babies are up to: Kicking, kicking, kicking! They are very active in there right now. It is much more noticeable at night when I lie down for sleep. But I am feeling them more often throughout the day too. In fact, one of them is moving around as I type this! The babies are now covered in lanugo (a fine, downy hair) to protect their skin. Their hair may also be visible! Each weighs in at about 1 pound each.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

21 weeks

Closer to the end than the beginning!

How I am feeling: Today is a good day I think. I noticed that I actually feel better on days in which I really don't have to move very much! LOL! I just get so tired by the end of the day, it is hard not to just totally crash around 7pm. In other news, I have been going through all of Nathan's old clothes and I have completely organized them! It was so fun to pull out all of the little outfits and fold them. I went out and got a label maker (my OCD talking here) and had so much fun organizing the whole house. Sounds like I am nesting already. Other than that I am doing ok. Feeling the babies move around a lot more now. When I lie down at night, they like to keep me awake. :) Looking more forward to the homebirth now. Excited to start getting things ready for that and making plans. I am also going to be doing Hypnobabies. I am just so excited to start that and really begin preparing for the birth. I am starting to let go of the fears about the immediate post-partum time. I figure that I will get through it just fine. Brandon will be there to help and my mom lives close by.

What the babies are up to: Each is about 7.5 inches long. They are now able to swallow and are ready to start putting on weight!

Friday, August 28, 2009

So sweet

I just love this picture. It just captures him perfectly.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

20 weeks

Halfway there today! I can't believe that I am considered 5 months pregnant now.

How I am feeling: Well, to be honest, it hit me last night that these babies will be coming in four months. 4 months!! I feel like this pregnancy is going way too fast for me. I am just not ready. After realizing last night that I only have 4 months left, I started to feel such fear. :( I'm really scared about how the births will go. I am really scared of my relationship with Nathan changing forever. I am scared about how much my life will change after they arrive. I really don't want to go back to waking up every hour at night and the thought of taking care of three kids is enough to make me break out into a cold sweat. So, those are really the only thoughts I have today as I hit the halfway point. I am also trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never have a daughter. I guess I am just mourning that loss right now too. Not that I am not excited about having two more boys, I am just a little sad that we will never have the chance to parent a daughter.

What the babies are up to: Each baby's delicate skin is protected with a greasy, cheese-like coating called vernix caseosa. By now each baby may be about 6 1/3 inches (160 millimeters) long from crown to rump and weigh more than 11 ounces (320 grams).

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Pictures from the ultrasound

Both babies together. You can see the thin membrane seperating them here.
Baby B profile!

Baby A profile

Baby A sucking his thumb

Baby B boy parts

Baby A boy parts